There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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