Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
