nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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