Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
