Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
