so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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