Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
