break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
