who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
