my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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