So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
