As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
There are leaves in my underwear?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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