i just wanna soil my oats bro
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
