Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
