Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
