did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
