Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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