I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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