It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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