a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's shark week go big or go home
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
