This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
sex in a hospital.. check
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
