Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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