Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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