all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
