Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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