my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
