I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
