hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
A bitchslap is in order.
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