Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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