Sponge bath it is.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
