And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
