Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize