you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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