If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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