I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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