what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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