Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
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all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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