He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
