Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize