someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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