I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
