Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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