Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
