pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
