Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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