so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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