You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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