it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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