That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
