hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
