So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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