it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I will be naked everywhere
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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