so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
