im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Alive.
So much puke
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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