I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Houston, we have a squirter
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
