He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize