Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
