I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
