i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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